I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
