We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
