Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
its liver damage thursday
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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