i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my shit smells like andre
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
