Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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