told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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