Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
