I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There r osticjed everywhere
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
