Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
