Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
