Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
