Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
