end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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