so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
