I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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