My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
