the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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