I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
