lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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