I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
