He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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