Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
