Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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