1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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