Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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