id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
