Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
