Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
