he thought i was a dude.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
