so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
