im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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