This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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