I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
