just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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