She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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