sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Randomize
