the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
