Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
