i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
