At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
