I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
