I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
