I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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