So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
