Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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