Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
