hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have surprise drugs for everyone
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
