im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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