Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
