I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
